Where would I be without the Popsicle Incedent?

All is fairly well in my world today... went for an amazing hike. I will post pics as soon as google adds my extra storage... are you listening google...big brother??? That may sound a bit like a schizophrenic rant, but anyone who has a gmail account knows that google knows everything about you...
Anywho.. Mary, Holly, Brian, Ben and I hiked lost lake. It was lovely... serotonin replenished and my sunburn came back as well. Yes, much sunshine, many lakes, dogs, mountains, glaciers, marmots... what else...

Lots of unencumbered thinking (16 miles of it). Which leads me to the subject line of this post. Where would I be without the popsicle incedent? The popsicle incedent is the name that I gave to one of the most influential experiences of my childhood.. short story long... just kidding :) ...
So, basically I turned down an opportunity to eat a popsicle and color with the boy that I liked, Grant, who had just had his tonsils out and needed some company... I had such a big crush on him that I said no to eating a popsicle and coloring ( two of my favorite things) just because I was a little dear in headlights and had no idea how to handle the situation. Then I sat in my yard and swang on my swings while he stared over at me from two fences away looking all sad b/c I didn't want to play with him. Well, this made me feel so bad.. not only did I hurt his feelings, I hurt my own... just because I was too afraid to go after what my heart really wanted. I was 6 and this made such an impact on me.. it was my very first life lesson and I vowed to try to never let fear stop me from anything... love, friendship, travel, riding home at 2:00 am past 8 randomly screaming people on the bike path near Sullivan Arena... ok.. maybe I should have let fear stop me from that one... :) but it turned out all right this time...

So, I see people in my life now that have maybe never had a popsicle incedent...and I think to myself, where would I be without mine? Maybe a little less assertive, adventurous, reckless... maybe a little less passionate. Well, these attributes, if anything, help me appreciate what I have in my life. Because I got there by following my heart.

I am getting ready to leave for India.. Thursday I travel to Seattle to visit with some friends and then off to India from there on August 11th... I have a lot on my mind as of late and I am not sure that travel right now is the best thing for me... I felt like this would be bad timing around March when I got my tickets, but I kinda went for it anyway... I am a bit afraid to travel on my own for a month in India, but I think it will be a rewarding experience, and since I at one point did have a travel partner, I feel like they maybe backed out for a reason.. I am probably supposed to do this on my own. Anywho, I am not really fearful at this moment.. I actually kind of feel like I am being carried along on a train with no say in my destination... good feeling I guess when you have no where you have to be for a bit...

So the things on my mind... some of my closest friends have been a bit more distant than usual lately. And I have been a bit more kneedy as of late( I spelled that wrong on purpose) . It's kind of a 'chicken or the egg' situation, but life is always changing and things happen so you can learn from them, so when I get back I am sure life will be on the upswing. I will likely learn more about myself in the next two months than I have in the past 4 years... and more about Indian cooking as well. Hopefully I will come back a bit more settled and a lot less kneedy.
Namaste